Infinite Envy.
The “Envy” Part.
I find myself to be an envious person. Not that I want to, but it sometimes overwhelms me to observe people's success and shy away from getting sweaty palms. Once it bursts through — I feel shame. And I also feel some kind of fault for not being mature enough to appreciate and endorse another person’s well-being, which is a weird contradictive feeling, to say the least.
I don’t know if it’s common to be ashamed of yourself for such an outburst, but it is certainly something that is not common to openly talk about. One of my friends suggested that from a psychological perspective, envy is not as bad as we might think. Even more so, it is a blessing in disguise, once we start to dissect it. Think about it:
– are you jealous of a person who got what you want?
– if that person lost everything you wanted to have — would it feel better?
– think of the people who are successful and you don't envy them – why do you think it is?
For me personally, I have no problem letting people I don’t know or I know to have made a substantial sacrifice to be in better shape than I am. Where I find myself perplexing is when the pathway taken by a person to reach welfare does not correspond to my understanding of moral principles and fairness.
Just like myself, people love exonerating their own flaws by crowning someone to DESERVE or NOT DESERVE their place in life, which is, for the most part, a far-fetched proclamation. The way a person deserves or doesn't deserve a blessing draws from our fears and regrets, and can not be deemed truthful.
I truly believe that the most vicious and destructive human feeling is a feeling of pettiness, which in turn, feeds off regrets.
Therefore, we don’t want to place envy on this rack.
Rather, we want to view the feeling of being jealous as something that might grow us.
The feeling of envy can be our guiding Star to understand what we really DESIRE. Somehow, subconsciously, our inner-self knows what kind of person we want to be, and what exact traits are necessary to wear the same hat that your alleged wrongdoer does. It could be difficult, but stepping on a throat of pride and trying to bond with someone who you envy is a great first step towards this realization. Furthermore, when you get to speak with that person, you’ll realize that there is just so much under the blanked — blood and sweat and tears invested; and once you know it — and you won’t break out in a cold sweat. Moreover, if you choose to take responsibility and view the world soberly — it will boost your will to work harder — set, and achieve new goals.
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The “Infinite” Part.
Simon’s Sinek “Infinite Games” suggests a superior concept of playing the game of business, relations, or life without a goal of WINNING.
Winning, as a process, implies a losing party, which is not imperative per Simon’s viewpoint. In fact, the majority of successful companies are companies with infinite mindsets, that have long committed themselves to create, build, and consolidate around trust and ever-lasting relations. It’s a healthy environment where the only enemy to compete against is yourself.
Apple does not compete with Microsoft or Google, it operates in an infinite range, and does not play by the rules set by someone else. Richard Branson's “Virgin Group” is also free of obligations to compare metrics with British Airways, or other companies, that try to uselessly impose themselves. If we agree upon the rules of the game beforehand — it’s totally fine to proclaim a winner. But in the life of people and organizations, the rules are not ubiquitous, so that, you can’t win a match if you are not on the same field to start with.
“Southern Airlines”, just like “Virgin Airlines”, are just DIFFERENT, and it’s important to stick to your core, a deep belief that DIFFERENTIATES you from others, and play your own game.
In Ukraine, the fastest-growing bank is a bank without affiliations, called MonoBank. It also plays its own game and does not measure success by the well-known metrics, even though their innovative approach, actually, led them to overcome competitors accordingly.
I am adamant it happened because it was never a purpose, it has come as a bonus of believing in the originality of their path. Granted.
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Uniting Two Concepts.
When feeling jealous, make it a no-brainer for yourself: this one is for you to grow and become better. Accept it, and try to digest it. Instead of instantly trying to match with the person in terms of being cooler, faster, or stronger, rather — become Worthy Rivals. Play not to WIN, play TO STAY IN THE GAME. If your “opponent” is worthwhile — no way you can lose by engaging in healthy competition. Understand that your own fears dictate a desire to go over someone, for the sake of better inner-judgment, and once you realize that you have your own unique path — the aspiration of staying in the game would be much more rewarding.
Holistically speaking, envy can either be a constructive or destructive force, but it is definitely a force, which we can not turn a blind eye to.
